The Genius Files: Never Say Genius

By Dan Gutman

Hi! Have you ever had a bad day and you just can’t stop thinking about it? Well, Coke and Pepsi have! Yesterday, they got chased on their trip to their aunt’s wedding by a man named Dr. Herman Warsaw. In the end, they’re pretty sure they killed him by tripping him off of a cliff. But they don’t know if he survived or not.

Now, it was the twins’ birthday. They got cheeseheads, a framed photo of the place where Dr. Warsaw died, and they got some cheese curds. They taste delicious and when you bite into them, they squeak. They are just heading into Wisconsin. In Wisconsin, they went to a mustard museum and Mrs. McDonald got the twins another birthday present. It was a Poupon U Toilet Seat (Poupon is a kind of mustard).

Soon, they got to Illinois. There, they tried to go to the McDonald’s Museum, but it was closed. Then a teenager came over and told them that there was a French fry exhibit called “The Multimedia World of French Fries.” The teenager looked like Archie from out of the comics. Coke and Pep called him “Archie Clone.” He led them into a cage. It looked very scary, but the twins didn’t suspect a thing. But then they realized that it was a trap. Then, Coke realized that “Archie Clone” didn’t even work for McDonald’s! He worked for (wait for it, wait for it…) Dr. Herman Warsaw!!! Then, they realized the cage was being dropped into boiling oil. Then, Archie Clone told them that they had something in common. Archie Clone was part of The Genius Files. He wanted to kill all of the Genius Files kids so that he could get a million dollars when he turned 21. Finally, of course, right as they were about to be lowered into the oil, Coke came up with an idea to get them out of there. He took Pep’s cheese head off of her head and pushed it into the cage’s gear that lowers it down. The machine suddenly stopped and they were able to get out.

The next stop was Chicago. They stayed at the Best Western Des Plaines Inn. Then, Coke looked at the tickets that he had been given by Archie to go into the French Fry Exhibit. On the back it said, “Hated Day Happy.” Coke gave it to Pepsi and Pep realized that it was another cipher. Suddenly, she got it! The cipher “HAPPY DEATH DAY.” Then they realized that they had to tell their mom and dad, but they didn’t believe them! Then, they went out into the hall to talk, but two maids came by and grabbed them. Suddenly they realized that it was Maya and Bones! They caught up with each other about what had happened.

And I have something to tell you: Archie Clone WILL strike again! Will the twins be able to survive yet another time? Or will they be killed in this attempt for their lives? As I always say, read the book to find out!

I recommend this book to readers who love excitement, action and adventure. The Genius Files is an amazing series!

A few helpful things I like to say about the books I read:

“Run and Get Mom” (how I describe the scariness factor):
There were a few scary parts, but none were too scary.

“Yucky-Lovey Stuff” (how I describe the romance factor):
Zero. None. Nada.